so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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