the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize