dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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