My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
