the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
