he wants to bone in the snuggie
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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