their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
