What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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