hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
