This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
