# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
