Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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