Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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