You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
