You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
