Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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