Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
