My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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