Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
