Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
