i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
