I skipped work to stalk him.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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