Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
