I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
nutella sex= disaster
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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