Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
