after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
birth control should be required to get into college
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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