Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
