if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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