Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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