I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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