You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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