She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
