This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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