Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
