she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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