Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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