What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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