Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
