Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
