omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
