Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
