; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he thought i was a dude.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
