I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
