you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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