i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
