We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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