I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
