Im at strip club and am horny
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
And then he peed in my hair
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