Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You need a sexual gate keeper
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
