just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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