and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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