so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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