Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
do herpes really smell.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
