I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
