He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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