she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
how does that bad decision feel?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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