This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
