O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
