dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
