so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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