i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
