honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
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As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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