I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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